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Ponderings and Wonderings

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Recently a distant member of my family passed away, which I found shocking for many reasons.  Namely she was my age, and though my daughter would probably disagree, I feel that 40 and under is a relatively young age, especially to leave this world. The other thing that is really hard for me is that she had two children that were relatively the same age as my children. (young) That’s not supposed to happen, was all I could think. So, to my first point which is my selfish point, or my own existential crisis. I don’t know all the details of her health concerns, but it made me think about my own health. My life, and what I would leave behind if I left this world early. Was I a good enough parent, wife, sister or friend? What should I do to take advantage of my time, how can I not squander it. The obvious thought is to be more compassionate, to others and myself.  But, I also want to live a little louder too, this relative was often larger than life to
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High and Uncomfortable

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  The Korean Demilitarized Zone (DMZ), is a strip of land that runs along the border of both North and South Korea. It’s the “buffer zone” according to Wikipedia, that was agreed on when they ended the Korean War.  “ The DMZ is also littered with landmines planted over the decades - as many as 970,000 in the southern part alone, according to Landmine and Cluster Munition Monitor, a Geneva-based civic group.” https://www.reuters.com/article/us-northkorea-usa-southkorea-dmz-factbox/factbox-some-facts-about-the-dmz-separating-the-two-koreas-idUSKCN1TV071 There are soldiers on both sides, and this is the only way they were able to come to any sort of peace after a horrible war.  What is even crazier is that where there have not been soldiers, bombs, and tanks the wild life has taken over in the DMZ. Korea is a beautiful country. But because it’s leaders couldn’t agree on governance the entire country was split into two and has experienced a great deal of trauma. The war was awful and there
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prayer and meditations...

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  Okay, so I’m looking into spiritual energy and using some information from my friend Sharon (the MFT remember), one thing I notice our that stuck out to me was this; From the perspective of your soul, the important question is not how much energy you have, but what kind of energy you have. There are only two kinds of energy. ( http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/protecting-your-spiritual-energy#ixzz6UCBjqLL6 ) This goes back to the beginning of my first post, full circle. Kind of cool. Hmmm… I think I could learn a ton about this and want to explore more.  However, I get overwhelmed by many things so I think I want to pick the topic of prayer and meditation to start my spiritual energy lifting process.  So, on a personal, transparent level I am a HUGE believer in prayer. Several years ago I served as a missionary for my church and for me it was a dream come true ( I know, I know it’s getting preachy, sorry I’ll get to my point). Anyways, one of the first lessons I learned (and apparentl
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In the beginning there was...

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Okay, so I have been in a slump, (I like how this font looks at the moment). I was listening to an old coworker on a podcast, and remembering how annoying she was because she’s an overachiever (says a somewhat of an overachiever, herself). Basically, the woman is perfect, and I mean really she is and it makes me so irritated for several reasons. Number one, she is right. I mean what she says is correct and true. My toxic thoughts are (you guessed it) toxic.  When I feel negative emotions, and those pushy thoughts are in my mind, they tend to mirror my feelings and they truly are in fact (this is a shocker) negative. For example, this weekend I had a pretty great weekend of self loathing, (it really was quite fun, but I did not get my chores done) I watched all the Avenger Movies on Saturday (Awesome). I then watched all three Kung Fu Panda (more Awesomeness) movies on Sunday. I did not get in enough steps on either day, and .y self loathing has increased because of the lack of physic
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