prayer and meditations...

 Okay, so I’m looking into spiritual energy and using some information from my friend Sharon (the MFT remember), one thing I notice our that stuck out to me was this;

From the perspective of your soul, the important question is not how much energy you have, but what kind of energy you have. There are only two kinds of energy. (http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/protecting-your-spiritual-energy#ixzz6UCBjqLL6)

This goes back to the beginning of my first post, full circle. Kind of cool.

Hmmm… I think I could learn a ton about this and want to explore more. 

However, I get overwhelmed by many things so I think I want to pick the topic of prayer and meditation to start my spiritual energy lifting process. 

So, on a personal, transparent level I am a HUGE believer in prayer. Several years ago I served as a missionary for my church and for me it was a dream come true ( I know, I know it’s getting preachy, sorry I’ll get to my point). Anyways, one of the first lessons I learned (and apparently need to relearn by the state of mind I’m in) was that truth speaks to both the mind and heart and brings peace to the soul.

So I need some “spiritual chiropractics”, I think I have missed my last couple of adjustments in a manner of speaking.

So what is prayer?

1a(1) : an address (such as a petition) to God or a god in word or thought said a prayer for the success of the voyage (2) : a set order of words used in praying b : an earnest request or wish

2 : the act or practice of praying to God or a god

kneeling in prayer

3 : a religious service consisting chiefly of prayers —often used in plural

4 : something prayed for

5 : a slight chance;haven't got a prayer

So petitions, earnest requests, wishes or slight chances. These words make me think about having hope (I could really use some hope right now). 

Digging deeper I was able to find on Britanica.com that prayer has been in every culture and it dates back from the beginning 

This is cave art of worship or praise, prayer. They were pragmatic in their supplications relating to their pragmatic lives. 

I can relate to that I feel like when I’m in survivor mode I’m not really able to be thoughtful or think about anything but what I need in the moment. Britanica continues and talked about hymns or songs, and honestly I have been thinking about music this whole time I was thinking about spiritual energy 

Music for me is an anchor, and it is something I have ALWAYS used to affect my mood and energy. I know this a duh moments but music started as prayer (Whoa)! 

Okay… I’m being over dramatic. I know music wasn’t just for worship, but for sure music, and sound can affect spiritual energy. Besides I will talk about music later (maybe).

I know prayer is not for everyone, and that it is now always about becoming better, to me prayer is hope, in the future in a better world, in the chance to look at something bigger than me. I just for myself need to believe in a bigger picture. 

Have you ever driven through the South West and seen the stars on a cloudless night, the stars are so bright that you can see the desert, that is what prayer is to me. A sea of stars that are incomprehensible. I hate praying out loud, I get super self conscious, and I need to get better about praying in a more purposeful way but I think Pray is for me a huge part of my gaining.

Okay so expanding my mind and accepting that there is more out side my little  condo (though lately that is questionable with how little I leave my home #hombody) I think equally as important is the search within. I feel like that is almost the opposite to prayer, meditation and mindfulness is completely an internal struggle. 

So I mentioned that I discovered mindfulness several years ago but I stopped doing it for a long time my work even gives me Headspace for free, and I love Andy (he he, get it) his voice is a smooth mirror glaze of tempered chocolate on my soul (now I am craving chocolate thanks Andrew!) I think I get scared, or busy.

My daughter mentioned that we have to love ourselves, when I said she was my favorite girl the whole world, and I don’t think I really do (ouch, that’s really real people). I think that is one of my deep darks. In fact in college I was taking a Jungian, Adult developmental Psychology class, and we were studying dreams. My final paper was about that (I totally got an A in that class so not all self deprecation is bad, ha) 

So maybe, I can take a baby step, and not make any crazy I love me, promises, but maybe I can just promise to sit with myself, mindfully and listen, without judgement (not good at that I LOVE being judgy, ask any of my sisters). Huh, that is exactly what mindfulness is, just being in the moment, with… me.